This month I was lucky enough to be chosen to receive an Advanced Reader's Copy of WHEN BLOOD CALLS, the first book in a new series by author J.K. Beck, so I could review it. The new series is titled SHADOW KEEPERS and book one will be released on August 31, with books two and three to be released September 28 and October 26, respectively.
With so many paranormal romance/urban fantasy series currently available and being published everyday, it's difficult to find one that is new and exciting, touching on subjects that haven't been visited over and over.
This series manages to do that and more.
J.K. Beck is the "alias" of Julie Kenner, very well known for her best-selling "Kate Conner"series about a demon-hunting soccer mom.. While Kenner's other series is incredibly enjoyable, filled with lots of humor as well as action, this series is quite different.
With WHEN BLOOD CALLS, Beck takes us into a world where vampires, werewolves and other creatures of our imagination are living out an existence side by side with unsuspecting humans.
Prosector Sara Constantine gets a promotion at the DA's office to work in "Division 6". Previously known to her only as part of Homeland Security, Division 6 is actually a department that deals with members of society that require "special" attention. Vampires, werewolves, goblins and other creatures Sara has only seen in movies and on TV.
Not even aware thees "creatures of the night" existed before, Sara also comes to know the man who murdered her father when she was a child also was a vampire.
Thrown into this world, her first assignment is prosecuting vampire Lucius Dragos, who is accused of murdering a retired judge.When Sara meets Lucius (also known as Luke) she realizes he is the man she recently had a very hot, sexy encounter with after leaving a bar together. Now Sara has just found out the man she has been lusting over is not only a vampire, but in jail for murder. Will she be able to control the intense desire for him long enough to do her job?
Sara soons finds out Luke may have in fact have had personal reasons for wanting the judge dead. It seems his ward ,Tasha, may have been harmed by the judge who was not so squeaky -clean.
When the last person Sara has successfully put in jail escapes(possibly with some supernatural help) Sara may be forced to enlist Luke's aid in catching him and putting him back behind bars.
It tuns out Tasha is missing and may have been kidnapped by someone connected to the murderer.
Sara is torn between doing her job and the strong feeling she still has for Luke.
This new series has it all: suspense, passion, intrique and more. Sometimes dark, sometimes sexy, but always exciting, this book left me anticipating the second in the series. I urge fans of paranormal romance/urban fantasy to check it out when it is releases on August 31st!
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
"HATE THE GAME,NOT THE PLAYER"
WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!!!!
Well, it's week five in the Big Brother house and we are one day away from our latest eviction. As of today, Rachel and Brendon have been nominated by current HOH, Matt, and tonight CBS will air the veto competiton as well as the veto ceremony.
The veto comp was played over the weekend and the ceremony on Monday, so if you get the feeds or read any blog posts, you already know the outcome.
I , myself, do not subscribe to the feeds(God knows I would never get any work done if I did) but I do watch Showtime Too's Big Brother After Dark and I also get most of my info from the wonderful ladies over at BBDish! Ya Gotta Have it! . If you are a big fan of the show, a feed subscriber, or love to chat with other fans, well, then this is the ONLY place I recommend going for the inside scoop. Carolyn and Co. have the latest up-dates, as well as polls, blogs by former Houseguests, viewing parties and general all around fun. They make it a place where you can always express your opinion, but never get criticized if you don't agree with others. Much better than any other BB sites I have seen. So, you might want to check that out @http://www.bbdish.blogspot.com/
Ok, now that I am done giving a shout-out to the "Dish", back to my view on the game so far.
After practicing their little hearts out for the veto challenge, nominees, Rachel and Brendon, were not lucky enough to actually win it. That honor went to Britney. Britney is someone I continually have mixed feelings about. A pretty, funny girl, she sometimes (ok, a LOT of times) can be very mean when discussing other houseguests. In the beginning, her sidekick was evicted guest #2, Monet. After Monet's departure, Brit seems to become more engaged with the others and I thought her true self was being revealed, but soon, she was back to her old tricks, this time picking up a new partner in crime: Ragan.
I am quite surprised by the way Ragan has been presenting himself in the house of late. In the first 2 weeks, I really enjoyed him and his fun, "showmance/friendship" with Matt, but he has taken a quite "evil" turn and has become just as catty as Brit. Ragan was someone I original was rooting for to make it to the end, and now I don't think I feel quite the same. While I am no fan of "Team Brenchel" ( the pair of Brendon and Rachel) I still do not like the way they are constantly being bashed. Of course, the two of them give as good as they get and Rachel doesn't seem to think she does anything wrong.
Speaking of our two lovebirds, I am quite sorry-no, I take that back-I am not, to say that I think it is quite ridiculous to think you are "in love" with someone you met little over a month a go. Not to mention these two, in my opinion could be no further than an ideal match. Brendon seems very reserved and Rachel is a Vegas party girl. I know that should not matter, but well, I think it does and since this is my opinion, that's what I am going with. ;) I have heard Brendon say how he thinks Rachel will "grow out" of her Vegas way of life and move to LA where she might possible make it big or go to UCLA. (sorry, Brendon, doubt that's going to happen.
So, back to the game. As of earlier today, it was pretty much the house's decision to evict Rachel tomorrow night. This is something that I think bothers Brendon more than Rachel, herself. He has acutally begged others to vote him out instead because "Rachel really deserves to make it to the end and win" . Now I say to that "are you STUPID,man?" you are going to give up a chance at half a million dollars for a girl you barely know? Why did you come on this show? There are many,many people who would love to have gotten on the show and get a shot at winning. You want to throw that away? I feel he is an idiot. Even if he goes this week, there is no guarantee that Rachel will make it any further in the game. Sure, I think she is a great player and very good at comps (she won 2 of the past 5 HOH's) but anything can happen.
The both of them have become enemy # 1 for the rest of the house ,becoming the butt of countless jokes by everyone,including Kathy, who must feel happy that she is in with the "cool crowd". Just last night she told Brendon , after he chose to hide the wine bottle opener from Britney not to "stoop to their level", then proceeded to head upstairs a while later and do just that: making fun of Brendon and Rachel and having quite the time of it.
There was a huge blowup that I was lucky(or not) to catch on Afterdark. Ragan and Britney were hanging out on the hammock. Rachel came over to talk to Ragan who had been avoiding her for the past couple days. He proceeded to tell her exactly how he feels about her. Now I will not give you the details, but in the short of it, Rachel ended up in the DR crying, Brendon went out to confront Ragan, and there was an intense name-calling session. Then proud he defended his girl's honor, Brendon went off on a rant directly to the live feed cameras. Then when Rachel emerged from the DR, he gave her wine and they spent most of the night alone talking about much better than the others they were.
On a positive note, I am really enjoying "Jersey" boy, Enzo. Watching the other houseguests make fun of his acccent and making him say words like dog, was quite the relief from the tension in the house. Plus, I have been in his shoes, being from Jersey, myself.
I have to say I am hoping Rachel leaves tomorrow taking most of the drama with her. Now I have to go. It's 8pm and Big Brother is on. ;)
Well, it's week five in the Big Brother house and we are one day away from our latest eviction. As of today, Rachel and Brendon have been nominated by current HOH, Matt, and tonight CBS will air the veto competiton as well as the veto ceremony.
The veto comp was played over the weekend and the ceremony on Monday, so if you get the feeds or read any blog posts, you already know the outcome.
I , myself, do not subscribe to the feeds(God knows I would never get any work done if I did) but I do watch Showtime Too's Big Brother After Dark and I also get most of my info from the wonderful ladies over at BBDish! Ya Gotta Have it! . If you are a big fan of the show, a feed subscriber, or love to chat with other fans, well, then this is the ONLY place I recommend going for the inside scoop. Carolyn and Co. have the latest up-dates, as well as polls, blogs by former Houseguests, viewing parties and general all around fun. They make it a place where you can always express your opinion, but never get criticized if you don't agree with others. Much better than any other BB sites I have seen. So, you might want to check that out @http://www.bbdish.blogspot.com/
Ok, now that I am done giving a shout-out to the "Dish", back to my view on the game so far.
After practicing their little hearts out for the veto challenge, nominees, Rachel and Brendon, were not lucky enough to actually win it. That honor went to Britney. Britney is someone I continually have mixed feelings about. A pretty, funny girl, she sometimes (ok, a LOT of times) can be very mean when discussing other houseguests. In the beginning, her sidekick was evicted guest #2, Monet. After Monet's departure, Brit seems to become more engaged with the others and I thought her true self was being revealed, but soon, she was back to her old tricks, this time picking up a new partner in crime: Ragan.
I am quite surprised by the way Ragan has been presenting himself in the house of late. In the first 2 weeks, I really enjoyed him and his fun, "showmance/friendship" with Matt, but he has taken a quite "evil" turn and has become just as catty as Brit. Ragan was someone I original was rooting for to make it to the end, and now I don't think I feel quite the same. While I am no fan of "Team Brenchel" ( the pair of Brendon and Rachel) I still do not like the way they are constantly being bashed. Of course, the two of them give as good as they get and Rachel doesn't seem to think she does anything wrong.
Speaking of our two lovebirds, I am quite sorry-no, I take that back-I am not, to say that I think it is quite ridiculous to think you are "in love" with someone you met little over a month a go. Not to mention these two, in my opinion could be no further than an ideal match. Brendon seems very reserved and Rachel is a Vegas party girl. I know that should not matter, but well, I think it does and since this is my opinion, that's what I am going with. ;) I have heard Brendon say how he thinks Rachel will "grow out" of her Vegas way of life and move to LA where she might possible make it big or go to UCLA. (sorry, Brendon, doubt that's going to happen.
So, back to the game. As of earlier today, it was pretty much the house's decision to evict Rachel tomorrow night. This is something that I think bothers Brendon more than Rachel, herself. He has acutally begged others to vote him out instead because "Rachel really deserves to make it to the end and win" . Now I say to that "are you STUPID,man?" you are going to give up a chance at half a million dollars for a girl you barely know? Why did you come on this show? There are many,many people who would love to have gotten on the show and get a shot at winning. You want to throw that away? I feel he is an idiot. Even if he goes this week, there is no guarantee that Rachel will make it any further in the game. Sure, I think she is a great player and very good at comps (she won 2 of the past 5 HOH's) but anything can happen.
The both of them have become enemy # 1 for the rest of the house ,becoming the butt of countless jokes by everyone,including Kathy, who must feel happy that she is in with the "cool crowd". Just last night she told Brendon , after he chose to hide the wine bottle opener from Britney not to "stoop to their level", then proceeded to head upstairs a while later and do just that: making fun of Brendon and Rachel and having quite the time of it.
There was a huge blowup that I was lucky(or not) to catch on Afterdark. Ragan and Britney were hanging out on the hammock. Rachel came over to talk to Ragan who had been avoiding her for the past couple days. He proceeded to tell her exactly how he feels about her. Now I will not give you the details, but in the short of it, Rachel ended up in the DR crying, Brendon went out to confront Ragan, and there was an intense name-calling session. Then proud he defended his girl's honor, Brendon went off on a rant directly to the live feed cameras. Then when Rachel emerged from the DR, he gave her wine and they spent most of the night alone talking about much better than the others they were.
On a positive note, I am really enjoying "Jersey" boy, Enzo. Watching the other houseguests make fun of his acccent and making him say words like dog, was quite the relief from the tension in the house. Plus, I have been in his shoes, being from Jersey, myself.
I have to say I am hoping Rachel leaves tomorrow taking most of the drama with her. Now I have to go. It's 8pm and Big Brother is on. ;)
Monday, July 26, 2010
What's Happening in the Big Brother House?
WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!!
Ok, so here we are into week 3 of Big Brother season 12. So far, I am not impressed with the Houseguests this year, but I must say Julie Chen looks fab after giving birth to her baby,though.
After 2 weeks of trying to decide who I want to win this, I still can't say I have a clear choice. However, I do have a alot to say about these people.
THE HOUSEGUESTS
Brendon: Poor sap. He has fallen for a girl he only met a few weeks ago and follows her around like a lost puppy. I wish he would grow a pair and start playing this game for himself. He just might gain some friends and get off everyone's hit list.
Rachel: Blech- my first thoughts were "here is this year's bimbo". That annoying laugh, the ridiculous boobs, the too-red hair. Then there are the clothes. What, you can't afford pants on the salary you make? But she is smart when it comes to doing what she needs to get far in this game. I have no doubt, if Brendon were voted out, she would step it up even more and be very dangerous to the rest of the players.
These 2 together are a target. Obviously, everyone knows they are out to protect each other, but each would benefit more from playing solo. If Rachel is evicted, Brendon will most likely fall to pieces and be completely useless. If Brendon goes, Rachel will move on. And Possibly win. Neither is being very smart. Just my opinion.
Now as for everyone else:
Ragan: I really like him, but he needs to stop worrying so much about other's feelings.I see him getting hurt emotionally, primarily because of Matt and his lie about his wife.
Matt: Now I know he is not the first to lie in this game and he most certainly will not be the last, but using his wife is not too cool in my book. However, I still like him as a player and I can forgive him and get over it-I hope Ragan can.
Lane: well, not much to say about him. I like him. I think he is a kinda funny, friendly guy and would love to hang out and have a beer with him. But this is Big Brother and he has a game to play-so I say PLAY IT. don't rely on your "Brigade" buddies to keep you afloat. He is the only one without someone outside that alliance to support him(besides Enzo, but I'll get to him next)
Enzo: the Jersey boy. Now, I am from Jersey,myself and find his humor very enjoyable, but again, he should be thinking about winning, not being a comedian. Another person in the Brigade who has no outside alliance. He and Lane need to secretly team up.
Britney: I know alot of people dislike her because of the way she talked about other players, but I personally found it hysterical. I couldn't stop laughing at her and Lane "role playing" as Brendon and Rachel . I think since Monet is gone, she is making more friends and I would like to see her win an HOH.
Kristen: oh, Kristen, you sneaky litttle girl. Not sure what to make of your plans,but I know you have something stirring in that head of yours and I can't wait to see it come into play. Just feel bad for the boyfriend you left at home because of your secret "showmance"with Hayden. So far, Andrew and Kathy know and it'sonly a matter of time before the other HG's do. You will only be able to hide it for so long. And I have a feeling if you vote out Andrew this week, he will call you both out on it.
Hayden: a pretty good player that needs a pretty good haircut! Hooked on Kristen, how long will he be able to keep his relationship with her from his fellow Brigade members? And how will they react when they find out?
Kathy: I like Kathy. I know she isn't a good competitor, but she is a nice lady. She is in it for the right reasons,but unfortunately I don't see her winning.
Andrew: Keeping himself off from the rest of the house hasn't done much for his game, but now he is coming out of hiding ,but it may be too late. If he avoids this week's eviction, he may have to play hard and fast to make another week. He did show strength in that endurance HOH by making final 3 and I think he has been holding back. Also, kudos to him to sticking to his faith. It must not be easy in that house!
And this brings us to our first 2 evictees:
Annie: I liked her and wish she could have survived the first eviction. CBS's big twist "The Saboteur" was out so fast I think Allison Grodner and Co didnt know what hit them. It would have made for a lot better entertainment had she stayed. I sure hope CBS has something else up their sleeves.
Monet: Poor Monet. Not. I would have felt sorry for her if I felt she were a nicer person. And maybe in real life" she is.In fact, I am SURE she is, but she was way too catty in the house. And when nominated, it was way too late to try to mend fence. Her eviction was the best thing for Britney, even if Brit doesn' t know it yet.Every season there ia an evicted house guest who most people instantly forget the minute they walk out that door.I predict that in a few weeks we will be saying, "Monet-who?"
THE GAME
I can't understand why every season these people say "we have to get out___" and then when the opportunity arises, they let it go. Keeping a strong competitor is a dumb move. That's how Will and Dick made it. Everyone wanted them gone,but were either afraid to be the one or passed on the chance. How about someone makes a bold move and just puts up Rachel and Brendon. I want action, not words! I say Britney wins HOH, nominates Brendon and Rachel and hopefully neither wins pov. If one does, the other goes. Matt's plan was dumb from the start and completely backfired. He didnt gain any trust and now Andrew or Kathy may go. Now personally, I like Andrew,but I think it's smarter to get rid of him now. His game will only improve if he sticks around.
Don't use the mindset that "there are plenty of others gunning for them" (Brendon and Rachel)because we have learned from past seasons that that doesn't always work out.
I think sometimes these people forget what it was like when they watched past seasons. If you are an avid watcher and try out for this show, you should have intensely studied the past season and tried to learn from past houseguest's mistakes and hopefully tried not to repeat them.
Well, I still don't have a favorite and I am not sure I ever will.One thing I am certain of: I am still addicted to this show or I would not be up till 3 am every night watching Showtime for Big Brother After Dark.
Ok, so here we are into week 3 of Big Brother season 12. So far, I am not impressed with the Houseguests this year, but I must say Julie Chen looks fab after giving birth to her baby,though.
After 2 weeks of trying to decide who I want to win this, I still can't say I have a clear choice. However, I do have a alot to say about these people.
THE HOUSEGUESTS
Brendon: Poor sap. He has fallen for a girl he only met a few weeks ago and follows her around like a lost puppy. I wish he would grow a pair and start playing this game for himself. He just might gain some friends and get off everyone's hit list.
Rachel: Blech- my first thoughts were "here is this year's bimbo". That annoying laugh, the ridiculous boobs, the too-red hair. Then there are the clothes. What, you can't afford pants on the salary you make? But she is smart when it comes to doing what she needs to get far in this game. I have no doubt, if Brendon were voted out, she would step it up even more and be very dangerous to the rest of the players.
These 2 together are a target. Obviously, everyone knows they are out to protect each other, but each would benefit more from playing solo. If Rachel is evicted, Brendon will most likely fall to pieces and be completely useless. If Brendon goes, Rachel will move on. And Possibly win. Neither is being very smart. Just my opinion.
Now as for everyone else:
Ragan: I really like him, but he needs to stop worrying so much about other's feelings.I see him getting hurt emotionally, primarily because of Matt and his lie about his wife.
Matt: Now I know he is not the first to lie in this game and he most certainly will not be the last, but using his wife is not too cool in my book. However, I still like him as a player and I can forgive him and get over it-I hope Ragan can.
Lane: well, not much to say about him. I like him. I think he is a kinda funny, friendly guy and would love to hang out and have a beer with him. But this is Big Brother and he has a game to play-so I say PLAY IT. don't rely on your "Brigade" buddies to keep you afloat. He is the only one without someone outside that alliance to support him(besides Enzo, but I'll get to him next)
Enzo: the Jersey boy. Now, I am from Jersey,myself and find his humor very enjoyable, but again, he should be thinking about winning, not being a comedian. Another person in the Brigade who has no outside alliance. He and Lane need to secretly team up.
Britney: I know alot of people dislike her because of the way she talked about other players, but I personally found it hysterical. I couldn't stop laughing at her and Lane "role playing" as Brendon and Rachel . I think since Monet is gone, she is making more friends and I would like to see her win an HOH.
Kristen: oh, Kristen, you sneaky litttle girl. Not sure what to make of your plans,but I know you have something stirring in that head of yours and I can't wait to see it come into play. Just feel bad for the boyfriend you left at home because of your secret "showmance"with Hayden. So far, Andrew and Kathy know and it'sonly a matter of time before the other HG's do. You will only be able to hide it for so long. And I have a feeling if you vote out Andrew this week, he will call you both out on it.
Hayden: a pretty good player that needs a pretty good haircut! Hooked on Kristen, how long will he be able to keep his relationship with her from his fellow Brigade members? And how will they react when they find out?
Kathy: I like Kathy. I know she isn't a good competitor, but she is a nice lady. She is in it for the right reasons,but unfortunately I don't see her winning.
Andrew: Keeping himself off from the rest of the house hasn't done much for his game, but now he is coming out of hiding ,but it may be too late. If he avoids this week's eviction, he may have to play hard and fast to make another week. He did show strength in that endurance HOH by making final 3 and I think he has been holding back. Also, kudos to him to sticking to his faith. It must not be easy in that house!
And this brings us to our first 2 evictees:
Annie: I liked her and wish she could have survived the first eviction. CBS's big twist "The Saboteur" was out so fast I think Allison Grodner and Co didnt know what hit them. It would have made for a lot better entertainment had she stayed. I sure hope CBS has something else up their sleeves.
Monet: Poor Monet. Not. I would have felt sorry for her if I felt she were a nicer person. And maybe in real life" she is.In fact, I am SURE she is, but she was way too catty in the house. And when nominated, it was way too late to try to mend fence. Her eviction was the best thing for Britney, even if Brit doesn' t know it yet.Every season there ia an evicted house guest who most people instantly forget the minute they walk out that door.I predict that in a few weeks we will be saying, "Monet-who?"
THE GAME
I can't understand why every season these people say "we have to get out___" and then when the opportunity arises, they let it go. Keeping a strong competitor is a dumb move. That's how Will and Dick made it. Everyone wanted them gone,but were either afraid to be the one or passed on the chance. How about someone makes a bold move and just puts up Rachel and Brendon. I want action, not words! I say Britney wins HOH, nominates Brendon and Rachel and hopefully neither wins pov. If one does, the other goes. Matt's plan was dumb from the start and completely backfired. He didnt gain any trust and now Andrew or Kathy may go. Now personally, I like Andrew,but I think it's smarter to get rid of him now. His game will only improve if he sticks around.
Don't use the mindset that "there are plenty of others gunning for them" (Brendon and Rachel)because we have learned from past seasons that that doesn't always work out.
I think sometimes these people forget what it was like when they watched past seasons. If you are an avid watcher and try out for this show, you should have intensely studied the past season and tried to learn from past houseguest's mistakes and hopefully tried not to repeat them.
Well, I still don't have a favorite and I am not sure I ever will.One thing I am certain of: I am still addicted to this show or I would not be up till 3 am every night watching Showtime for Big Brother After Dark.
Friday, July 23, 2010
UPS AND DOWNS (on The scale of life)
I have pretty much been trying to lose weight for most of my adult life.
I have done Nutri System (back when you picked up your food once a week at your weigh-in) I hated the food, never attended a single meeting, but still managed to lose 27 lbs.But I got to a point where I had to stop. It became too exspensive and I found myself buying the food and tossing it in the dumpster out back (no lie). But I looked good. I am not ashamed to admit it. I looked DAMN good! People noticed,too.I went out and bought new clothes, including a bikini(the first I could buy without a struggle) and I enjoyed my newfound "skinnyness". I went to bars and clubs with friends and for once guys were checking ME out. ME! Whoohoo! It felt amazing. But alas, it didn't last. Eventually, I put some of the weight back on-not all-but some. So I went back tofinding something else.
There was Slimfast: I was still hungry an dended up eating AND drinking the shakes. (not a good idea)
There was my grand idea to eat one big meal everyday. I lost some, but not alot and really, that was just not healthy.
Then I had my hear broken: ooh, a good one for me because when I am depressed, I dont eat. I can't eat. So I lost a few pounds there. But once I moved on, I started eating and of course, I gained some weight.
Now I am not a tall girl, in fact I am really short: 5 feet on the nose. So you can imagine it's pretty hard to lose weight when every pound shows. I also happen to be a little ,well, "well endowed" on top. Have been all my life. Those "girls" pretty much stay the same size no matter what happens to my body. Now some women complain that when they diet, they lose weight in their breasts, but not me. And of course, having a big bust makes me look heavier. So the struggle went on.
There was Weight Watchers: probably one of the easiest to follow. Just count my points. And that one actually allowed me to eat REAL FOOD. yahoo! I lost over 35 lbs. Even after I stopped attending weigh-ins and just doing it at home. Once again Ilooked good. And once again I went and bought a new bikini. I must say I was happy with myself. I started getting noticed by the opposite sex again and began dating again. Then I met HIM. The man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. The one I have referred to on thismblog in the past as X.
Now we all know how it goes, you are single and you do everything to make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex. At least that was me. But after you are in a relationship for a while, you tend to get "comfortable" with your self. You start to let go a little. First, you let your partner see you in sweats and t shirts. "Hey, why not be comfortable? We're just hanging at home." Right? Then there's the makeup. Or lack thereof. "Hey, why should I put on makeup to sit and watch TV or a dvd? He has already seen me without it, right? " But sometimes, it doesn't stop there. Sometimes you get a little "too" comfortable. And you say "hey, I already have him, so I can stop obsessing about my weight. He's my boyfriend. H eloves me for who I am."and that's what happened. I didn't consider the fact that even though I fought like Hell to lose weight, I would so easily put it right back on. And I did. Not a lot.At first. But enough that I wasn't happy with my appearance. It also didn't help that X had a very high metabolish and could pretty much eat whatever he cared to and not gain a pound. I mean candy, ice cream, you name it. Now how can you diet when your partner is eating all kinds of fast food and goodies in front of you? And decides at 9 pm that Baskin Robbins would be a great idea?
Then came the break up. Well, remember earlier when I said when I am depressed I can't eat? Well, I lost lbs, the week after X broke up with me. But guess what? Eventually I got over it. HA! Food was my freind once again. Only this time, I wasn't out looking for anyone else (I still was hurt and not looking for a new love) So I did,'t really care what I looked like. I began to stop worrying altogether because as I stated "I am not dating anyone, I am just going to enjoy being single. I can do what I want. When I want.Eat what I want. Nobody to answer to. Yup.Like George Michael once sang "FREE....DOOOM, FREE...DOOOM" But with that freedom of eating what I want came.... weight gain. And this time it was HUGE. I became HUGE. The heaviest ever. But I went on. I even accepted the fact I had to buy bigger clothing sizes. I just let myself go.
Then I finally got to the point where I looked at myself. REALLY looked at myself. And I didn't like what I saw. Probably turning 40 had something to do with it. Freedom was fun.(it still is, actually) but I want to have freedom AND look good. I mean, at some point I will want someone in my life. (Plus, I kinda miss the looks from cute strangers)
So, I am about to embark on something new. A new diet. And this time I am committed. I am not doing it for a man, or to find a man, or for anyone else but ME. And really that is the most important thing. I want to feel good about MYself. Now I know it's going to tough. It took me several years to pack on these pounds, it's going to take some time for it to come off. ButI am a fighter. When I truly want something, I go after it. And guess what? I already lost seven pounds. Yup. Seven. Yay,me! So hopefully, the next time I weigh myself I will have lost more. I am not giving up. I have found the strength to do this and I have positive feelings. It took a lot to publicly admit I am very overweight. But by admitting it, I OWN it. And that is the first step. I will keep posting. Now maybe nobody is reading this, but thats ok,too. Like I said ,I am doing it for me.But maybe somebody is reading. And maybe,just maybe,that someone is not happy about something in their life. Maybe it's their weight. Maybe it's something else.And maybe they will read this and I will inspire them to make the changes they need to. And I still have that second bikini. My goal is to get back into it. Not necessarily for anyone to see, but just to prove to myself I can. :0
I have done Nutri System (back when you picked up your food once a week at your weigh-in) I hated the food, never attended a single meeting, but still managed to lose 27 lbs.But I got to a point where I had to stop. It became too exspensive and I found myself buying the food and tossing it in the dumpster out back (no lie). But I looked good. I am not ashamed to admit it. I looked DAMN good! People noticed,too.I went out and bought new clothes, including a bikini(the first I could buy without a struggle) and I enjoyed my newfound "skinnyness". I went to bars and clubs with friends and for once guys were checking ME out. ME! Whoohoo! It felt amazing. But alas, it didn't last. Eventually, I put some of the weight back on-not all-but some. So I went back tofinding something else.
There was Slimfast: I was still hungry an dended up eating AND drinking the shakes. (not a good idea)
There was my grand idea to eat one big meal everyday. I lost some, but not alot and really, that was just not healthy.
Then I had my hear broken: ooh, a good one for me because when I am depressed, I dont eat. I can't eat. So I lost a few pounds there. But once I moved on, I started eating and of course, I gained some weight.
Now I am not a tall girl, in fact I am really short: 5 feet on the nose. So you can imagine it's pretty hard to lose weight when every pound shows. I also happen to be a little ,well, "well endowed" on top. Have been all my life. Those "girls" pretty much stay the same size no matter what happens to my body. Now some women complain that when they diet, they lose weight in their breasts, but not me. And of course, having a big bust makes me look heavier. So the struggle went on.
There was Weight Watchers: probably one of the easiest to follow. Just count my points. And that one actually allowed me to eat REAL FOOD. yahoo! I lost over 35 lbs. Even after I stopped attending weigh-ins and just doing it at home. Once again Ilooked good. And once again I went and bought a new bikini. I must say I was happy with myself. I started getting noticed by the opposite sex again and began dating again. Then I met HIM. The man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. The one I have referred to on thismblog in the past as X.
Now we all know how it goes, you are single and you do everything to make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex. At least that was me. But after you are in a relationship for a while, you tend to get "comfortable" with your self. You start to let go a little. First, you let your partner see you in sweats and t shirts. "Hey, why not be comfortable? We're just hanging at home." Right? Then there's the makeup. Or lack thereof. "Hey, why should I put on makeup to sit and watch TV or a dvd? He has already seen me without it, right? " But sometimes, it doesn't stop there. Sometimes you get a little "too" comfortable. And you say "hey, I already have him, so I can stop obsessing about my weight. He's my boyfriend. H eloves me for who I am."and that's what happened. I didn't consider the fact that even though I fought like Hell to lose weight, I would so easily put it right back on. And I did. Not a lot.At first. But enough that I wasn't happy with my appearance. It also didn't help that X had a very high metabolish and could pretty much eat whatever he cared to and not gain a pound. I mean candy, ice cream, you name it. Now how can you diet when your partner is eating all kinds of fast food and goodies in front of you? And decides at 9 pm that Baskin Robbins would be a great idea?
Then came the break up. Well, remember earlier when I said when I am depressed I can't eat? Well, I lost lbs, the week after X broke up with me. But guess what? Eventually I got over it. HA! Food was my freind once again. Only this time, I wasn't out looking for anyone else (I still was hurt and not looking for a new love) So I did,'t really care what I looked like. I began to stop worrying altogether because as I stated "I am not dating anyone, I am just going to enjoy being single. I can do what I want. When I want.Eat what I want. Nobody to answer to. Yup.Like George Michael once sang "FREE....DOOOM, FREE...DOOOM" But with that freedom of eating what I want came.... weight gain. And this time it was HUGE. I became HUGE. The heaviest ever. But I went on. I even accepted the fact I had to buy bigger clothing sizes. I just let myself go.
Then I finally got to the point where I looked at myself. REALLY looked at myself. And I didn't like what I saw. Probably turning 40 had something to do with it. Freedom was fun.(it still is, actually) but I want to have freedom AND look good. I mean, at some point I will want someone in my life. (Plus, I kinda miss the looks from cute strangers)
So, I am about to embark on something new. A new diet. And this time I am committed. I am not doing it for a man, or to find a man, or for anyone else but ME. And really that is the most important thing. I want to feel good about MYself. Now I know it's going to tough. It took me several years to pack on these pounds, it's going to take some time for it to come off. ButI am a fighter. When I truly want something, I go after it. And guess what? I already lost seven pounds. Yup. Seven. Yay,me! So hopefully, the next time I weigh myself I will have lost more. I am not giving up. I have found the strength to do this and I have positive feelings. It took a lot to publicly admit I am very overweight. But by admitting it, I OWN it. And that is the first step. I will keep posting. Now maybe nobody is reading this, but thats ok,too. Like I said ,I am doing it for me.But maybe somebody is reading. And maybe,just maybe,that someone is not happy about something in their life. Maybe it's their weight. Maybe it's something else.And maybe they will read this and I will inspire them to make the changes they need to. And I still have that second bikini. My goal is to get back into it. Not necessarily for anyone to see, but just to prove to myself I can. :0
Sunday, June 20, 2010
GOODBYE, EARL
My crush on Jason Lee began with my viewing of Chasing Amy, in which he played alongside Ben Affleck and Joey Lauren Adams and followed throughout his appearances in other Kevin Smith films as well as romantic comedies such as Kissing A Fool and A Guy Thing. Then something happened. in 2005, NBC premiered a new comedy to add to it's Thursday night "Must see TV" lineup. That show was My Name Is Earl and starred Lee as Earl J. Hickey, a man who loses a winning lottery ticket when he is hit by a car. Feeling that this was karma striking, Earl decides to make a list of all the bad things he has done and try to right them, thereby gaining positive karma. Now, I am in no way dissing the show, which ran from 2005 until 2009 and was an quite a hit. However, I never watched it. This is because seeing Jason Lee, the Jason Lee I came to know and love, sporting a scruffy mustache and beard just, well, it just was something I couldn't watch. Shallow? Yes, I admit it, and that is not like me at all. Part of the reason I so loved Lee was because of his ability to be so damn funny and NOT about how damn good looking he was-er-I mean is. I just can't explain it,but something about him changed. Or maybe I should saysomething about ME changed, but sadly something just made me lose interest.
Now today I was reading the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly magazine, and something caught my eye. It was an ad for a new TV show premiering on TNT Tuesday, June 22 at 10pm EST. It's called Memphis Beat and is about a Memphis, Tennessee police detective named Dwight Hendricks who happens to moonlight as an Elvis impersonator and live with his mother. Now that is not a show I can say sounds really all that interesting to me personally,but it wasn't the show's premise that got me. It was the photo of it's stunningly handsome star. Yes, the one and only Jason Lee. The show also stars Alfre Woodard and Celia Weston and is executive produced by George Clooney (who is pretty easy on the eyes himself), but it's Mr. Lee, all clean-shaven with a cool new haircut that grabbed my attention. Will this show be as big a hit for him as My Name Is Earl was? I am betting not. Will I watch it? Possibly. And believe me, I am not proud of the fact that I am basing that decision on the fact the it's lead looks so good, but I guess I am only human. But I am glad Jason Lee is coming back to tv. And I'm glad he he looks the way he does. If he stays remains to be seen.
Now today I was reading the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly magazine, and something caught my eye. It was an ad for a new TV show premiering on TNT Tuesday, June 22 at 10pm EST. It's called Memphis Beat and is about a Memphis, Tennessee police detective named Dwight Hendricks who happens to moonlight as an Elvis impersonator and live with his mother. Now that is not a show I can say sounds really all that interesting to me personally,but it wasn't the show's premise that got me. It was the photo of it's stunningly handsome star. Yes, the one and only Jason Lee. The show also stars Alfre Woodard and Celia Weston and is executive produced by George Clooney (who is pretty easy on the eyes himself), but it's Mr. Lee, all clean-shaven with a cool new haircut that grabbed my attention. Will this show be as big a hit for him as My Name Is Earl was? I am betting not. Will I watch it? Possibly. And believe me, I am not proud of the fact that I am basing that decision on the fact the it's lead looks so good, but I guess I am only human. But I am glad Jason Lee is coming back to tv. And I'm glad he he looks the way he does. If he stays remains to be seen.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Because I Just Don't Have Enough To Do
Well, I love to read and I love to give my opinion, so given any chance to do a book review I will gladly take it. For a while I was reviewing for I heard it On The Grapevine ( http://www.ihearditonthegrapevine.com/).
I really enjoyed it, but then I got busy at my "real" job and had to stop for a while.
Now I have been given a chance to review once again
This time it's for Night Owl Reviews ( http://www.nightowlreviewscom/).
I am probably once again getting in over my head and will most likely be very stressed out by this time next week, but such is my life and really, without stress, I just wouldn't be me. :)
I have received my first book to review and I hopefully will have it submitted very soon. Meanwhile, go check out the site. They have great reviews, contests, blogs, chats, and an author's store
I really enjoyed it, but then I got busy at my "real" job and had to stop for a while.
Now I have been given a chance to review once again
This time it's for Night Owl Reviews ( http://www.nightowlreviewscom/).
I am probably once again getting in over my head and will most likely be very stressed out by this time next week, but such is my life and really, without stress, I just wouldn't be me. :)
I have received my first book to review and I hopefully will have it submitted very soon. Meanwhile, go check out the site. They have great reviews, contests, blogs, chats, and an author's store
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Recent Books I Have Read
For a while I was reading everyday and finishing about a book or two a week. Now things are "heating" up at work and I don't have as much free time as I would like. But I am still reading. Here are the lastest books I have read and a few words about each one.
DEAD IN THE FAMILY by Charlaine Harris
This is the latest book in Ms. Harris's Sookie Stackhouse series. They have really taken off since the premiere of The HBO series TrueBlood, but I have been reading since before. In my opinion this series just gets better and better and this latest installment is no exception. I don't like to give away too much, but I will say that Eric Northman fans will be happy. He is very prominant in this book.
THE CARRIE DIARIES by Candace Bushnell
This was a quick, easy read that shows us Carrie before she moved to NYC and became a writer. This YA novel by Candace Bushnell follows Carrie Bradshaw (Bradley, to her friends) through her senior year of high school. Surprisingly, she is not the most popular girl in school. It also sheds light on her home life. (I had no idea she had 2 younger sisters) It was enjoyable, but not nearly as good as Sex and The City.I recommend it for anyone who loves the HBO series and wants to see who Carrie was a young girl or for any fans of YA chick-lit. P.S : the best part was the ending...
BLACK MAGIC SANCTION by Kim Harrison
This is just about my favorite Urban Fantasy/paranormal romance series. Rachel Morgan once again finds herself in a whole lot of trouble and has to relay on some unexpected people for help. (let's just say one is a former rat. And I mean that literally) We also see a lot more of Bis ,the teenaged gargoyle who shares the church with Rach and the gang. I like a lot and hope Ms Harrison includes him in more upcoming books.
NEVER TELL A LIE by Hallie Ephron
This is a great suspense novel that really had me guessing.When 8 months plus pregnant Ivy decide to have a yard sale, she never expected involved in a missing persons case and she sure never expected her husband, David to become suspected of murder. One of their former classmates stops by and is never seen leaving. soon police are investigating Ivy and her husband and Ivy's world is turned upside down. Ivy is left with lots of questions, one of which is "How well does she really know her husband?"
BEFORE I DIE by Jenny Downham
Very well-written YA book about 16-yr old Tessa, who has only months to live. She makes a list of "Things to Do Before I Die" and tries desperately to finish it before the end. This book was a little sad, but I really liked the way the author wrote the relationships between Tessa and her best friend, family and new boyfriend. This is a book that will stay with me a long time.
Well, that's it for now. Right now I am reading 3 books:
HONEYMOON OF THE DEAD by Tate Hallaway
SPIRIT BOUND by Richelle Mead
BITTER IS THE NEW BLACK by Jen Lancaster
I have also preordered the following new books:
INSATIABLE by Meg Cabot
LIVE TO TELL by Lisa Gardner
PRAY FOR SILENCE by Linda Castillo
CARNAL SIN by Allison Brennan
MOON SWORN by Keri Arthur
NEVER LOOK AWAY by Linwwood Barclay
as well as 2 books from authors "NEW" to me:
STILL MISSING by Chevy Stevens
and NEVER WAVE GOODBYE by Doug Magee
DEAD IN THE FAMILY by Charlaine Harris
This is the latest book in Ms. Harris's Sookie Stackhouse series. They have really taken off since the premiere of The HBO series TrueBlood, but I have been reading since before. In my opinion this series just gets better and better and this latest installment is no exception. I don't like to give away too much, but I will say that Eric Northman fans will be happy. He is very prominant in this book.
THE CARRIE DIARIES by Candace Bushnell
This was a quick, easy read that shows us Carrie before she moved to NYC and became a writer. This YA novel by Candace Bushnell follows Carrie Bradshaw (Bradley, to her friends) through her senior year of high school. Surprisingly, she is not the most popular girl in school. It also sheds light on her home life. (I had no idea she had 2 younger sisters) It was enjoyable, but not nearly as good as Sex and The City.I recommend it for anyone who loves the HBO series and wants to see who Carrie was a young girl or for any fans of YA chick-lit. P.S : the best part was the ending...
BLACK MAGIC SANCTION by Kim Harrison
This is just about my favorite Urban Fantasy/paranormal romance series. Rachel Morgan once again finds herself in a whole lot of trouble and has to relay on some unexpected people for help. (let's just say one is a former rat. And I mean that literally) We also see a lot more of Bis ,the teenaged gargoyle who shares the church with Rach and the gang. I like a lot and hope Ms Harrison includes him in more upcoming books.
NEVER TELL A LIE by Hallie Ephron
This is a great suspense novel that really had me guessing.When 8 months plus pregnant Ivy decide to have a yard sale, she never expected involved in a missing persons case and she sure never expected her husband, David to become suspected of murder. One of their former classmates stops by and is never seen leaving. soon police are investigating Ivy and her husband and Ivy's world is turned upside down. Ivy is left with lots of questions, one of which is "How well does she really know her husband?"
BEFORE I DIE by Jenny Downham
Very well-written YA book about 16-yr old Tessa, who has only months to live. She makes a list of "Things to Do Before I Die" and tries desperately to finish it before the end. This book was a little sad, but I really liked the way the author wrote the relationships between Tessa and her best friend, family and new boyfriend. This is a book that will stay with me a long time.
Well, that's it for now. Right now I am reading 3 books:
HONEYMOON OF THE DEAD by Tate Hallaway
SPIRIT BOUND by Richelle Mead
BITTER IS THE NEW BLACK by Jen Lancaster
I have also preordered the following new books:
INSATIABLE by Meg Cabot
LIVE TO TELL by Lisa Gardner
PRAY FOR SILENCE by Linda Castillo
CARNAL SIN by Allison Brennan
MOON SWORN by Keri Arthur
NEVER LOOK AWAY by Linwwood Barclay
as well as 2 books from authors "NEW" to me:
STILL MISSING by Chevy Stevens
and NEVER WAVE GOODBYE by Doug Magee
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