Nobody Touches My Sister And Gets Away With It

At this point in my life, I don't think I have met anyone who hasn't been a affected by cancer in some way. Either, they have had it themselves, or a friend or family member has. My best friend's father died of lung cancer, a good friend was diagnosed with breast cancer last year and my own father fought melanoma. Twice.

 It's sad, but it's true. Cancer is everywhere. Now it's closer than I ever thought it would be. My younger sister has it. Breast Cancer. When I say it out loud, it's still hard to believe.

I remember when she told me she found something that didn't seem right. I told her what everyone else was telling her. "I'm sure it's nothing. The doctor will check it out and you will be fine." "YOU WILL BE FINE."  I was wrong.

Big sisters are supposed to protect and look out for little sisters. It's part of the job. You assure them the Boogieman is not real. You stand up for them when someone is mistreating them. You love them and keep them safe.

I remember one night many years ago. My sister was  a teenager and in my early twenties. She was outside with friends and came inside because some girl had either punched her in the face or threatened to punch her. I can't remember which, but I remember storming outside and asking "who punched my sister?" I was told who the offender was and grabbing that girl by the throat, pinning her up against the side of my house and yelling at her " Don't you EVER lay a finger on my sister! EVER! Nobody touches my sister and gets away with it."

Sure we fight and yell at each other. We don't agree on everything and sometimes we say things that we don't mean to each other.

Little sisters steal clothes and toys and makeup and other stuff from big sisters and big sisters tattle-tale and tease little sisters. It's all part of that special sisterly bond, but the end of the day, no matter what, you always have each other's back.
We can be screaming at each other one minute and storming out of the house, but hours later, we are back to restart and it's like nothing ever happened.

I would do anything for my little sister. ANYTHING. I would push her out of speeding traffic, keep her deepest secrets, let her cry on my shoulder, lie for her.

I'd do anything in my power to save my sister, only now I am powerless.  Now is the one time  I couldn't keep my little sister safe. I couldn't  stop this monster from attacking her. I never felt so helpless. I want to take it all away from her. I want to take her place and God help me, I would if I could.

I know I need to be strong for her.  Her battle has just begun. I can't take away the cancer, but I can be there for her. I WILL be there for her. I'm going to stand along side her and pray for her and let her know that I am here for her. Most of all, I will tell her how much I love her, every chance I get. I may be the older sister, but I admire my sister and sometimes she protects ME.

My sister is strong and she will win. When she does, she will be stronger. I'm proud of her and how positive she is. She's a fighter. She's not going to let this keep her from living her life as she is. I'm going to be right there to make sure she does. It's all I can do.

I may not be able to push cancer up against the house, but as I said that night years ago, "Nobody touches my sister and gets away with it." So back off, cancer. You've hurt many people, but this time you've messed with the wrong person.

UNHAPPY? Do Something About It!

Lately I've been getting a little annoyed with people who are always complaining about how bad their lives are. They are too ugly, too fat, too poor, can't find a guy/girl, don't get enough sex...you get the idea.

Of course, I am not referring to people who are dying from terminal illnesses  or something THAT bad. I'm strictly referring to people who are "Debbie Downers". Those who everytime you make a statement always come back with a complaint about how rough life is to them. Oh, POOR YOU.

Sorry, but nobody lives a perfect life. NOBODY. Well, maybe Beyonce'.
No, I bet even SHE has bad days. I'm not saying that some people don't have it REALLY bad, but for the most part , if you look at what you dislike in your life, I can bet there is going to be SOMEONE who has it worse.


Here's the thing. If you are unhappy about something in your life, you can do one of two things.
One: you can start taking steps to changing what you don't like.
Two: you can shut the fuck up.

I don't mean to be rude, but when I was fat, I didn't walk around saying "man, am I fat".
Sure, I wasn't happy, but for a while I didn't really mind it enough to keep telling everyone about it. When I finally DID get to the point that I WAS really unhappy, guess what I did? I  DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
 Guess what? If you start eating healthy and start exercising , it turns out you will lose weight and become fit.
Now maybe that is an easy example of how to make changes in your life for the better.

Here is another example. You aren't happy at your job. Now I know with the current economy, not everyone can just quit their job and find another they like that pays the same, but you can make other changes. Maybe you can go back to school and further your degree. Maybe you can look into what it is that is making you miserable. Is it the pay? Is it the people? You can always make small changes that will help make it just a bit more pleasant or at least tolerable for the time being until you CAN make bigger changes.

Some people may argue that they can't change the way things are. I have a word for those people: "LAZY". There is ALWAYS something, no matter how small, that can be done to make things a little bit better. The important thing is to TRY. If you aren't willing to at least do that, than you need to just stop complaining. If you try and fail then you at least made the effort. Not trying is just good enough.

One thing I know for sure, before you change anything, you might want to consider changing your ATTITUDE. Maybe the reason you are so unhappy is because you never think about the GOOD things in your life. There are challenges everyday, but there are also many good things we all have to be thankful for.

 I will leave you with this famous quote from a very wise woman:

Trust me. Redheads know best.

Single (And Happy) White Female

So I was on Twitter a few minutes ago and somehow the subject of being married vs. single came up with a few of my followers.

Someone  said they have been single for a long time and would like someone to "do things with". Another person noted that being single is surely better than feeling like you "settled" or being a "boring housewife".

 I myself have been single for what some people may find far too long. After my last long term relationship broke up, I didn't rush out back into the dating pool, and I admit I got very comfortable living that way. It's easy to fall into a routine of working, coming home, doing my own thing and mostly not having to worry about what another person is doing. I really do value my alone time. Some may say that's selfish. But isn't that better than being with someone just because it's what society feels is right? Should I have settled for a lifetime of being with someone I really don't love and doesn't love me just to avoid being alone. Hell no.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying I am happier being single. I do like having a person to do things with. I enjoy lots of activities that are much more fun when you have  another person with you.  But do I feel like  less of a person because I'm single? Not at all.

I feel like I do live a full life as a single woman. I have a fantastic career that I love. I have a great family and wonderful friends. Sure, I don't have any children, but I don't need to be married for that. So why do people look at me like they feel sorry for me when they hear I'm single. Why do they ask what is wrong? It's as if it's not a choice, but a situation I got stuck in.

I know lots of married people who are very happy. I also know single people who have no intention of ever getting married. They don't feel the need to have another person to "complete" them.

I don't believe that there is really any proof that either being single or married is better. I think it really is dependent on the individual. Some people just like the whole family setup. House, spouse, kids, pets, etc.

When I was a little girl, it was always just an assumption that I would grow up, meet the "perfect" person , get married, have kids, and live "happily ever after". Even though I thought about it, I was never one of those girls that "planned" her wedding. I didn't read bridal magazines, or pick out colors for my bridal party to wear. I didn't have a "song" for my first dance, or honeymoon destination picked out.
I have been a bridesmaid twice. Neither time was I  jealous of the bride.

I have seen numerous friends and family members get married and have children. I get the Christmas cards and see the Facebook posts. I am happy for them all. Do I think they have a better or more fulfilling life? Not really.

I have also seen people who got married in their 20's and ended up getting divorced. I know of people on their second marriage and even some on their second divorce.

I have recently started to think about getting back into the dating "scene". The most recent experiences were not that great and made me see I may not be missing out on much after all. I do know I haven't exactly been looking for a partner. It's not that easy to meet quality people. The older I get, the harder it becomes. Most of my friends are married. I'm not a fan of online dating. I don't really go to clubs anymore. Honestly, I don't really look for dates.


I'm not saying I wouldn't get married. There was a time when I was sure the man I was with would eventually propose. It didn't happen. I lived. Yes, I think about having a companion for life. Someone that I can cook for, tell all my secrets, desires and dreams to. Someone to share funny stories with. Someone to make memories with. It's just that it's not my goal in life.



My brother would say "you can't meet anyone if you don't leave the house."  While this is very true, it remains that I'm just not in any rush. If I met someone I found attractive that I had common interests with and they asked me out I would say yes. It's just not a priority. If people can't understand that, it's fine by me.

There may very well be a Mr. Right out there somewhere. I'm sure there are plenty of quality men. Maybe I'm just not meant to be committed to one person. Sometimes knowing you are available is kind of fun. There is a little bit of satisfaction in listening to my married friends complain and thinking I don't have to deal with some of those issues. Other times, I think about what my life would be like if I were married. Would I be better off? Who really knows?

For now, my life is good. Having a spouse or partner wouldn't guarantee my life would be better. As for a child? Let's just say my biological clock hasn't run out yet, but THAT is topic for a different blog post.

Rated M for Mature

Pardon my rant, but this is a subject that been eating at me for several days and I can no longer keep my mouth shut. If you know me, you know how difficult it is for me to not voice my opinion on subjects that matter to me.

Like most people these days, I have a Facebook account and a Twitter account. My Facebook account is filled with family and friends and some people I have met along my journey there. I usually keep my statuses and comments pretty "clean". Sure, there is an occasional sexual innuendo, or an "Fbomb" used here and there, (it IS my favorite word after all) but overall I know who's reading and I keep that in mind.

Twitter, on the other hand, is whole different story. If my Facebook is PG-13, well, then my Twitter is NC-17. It's my place to be myself. I don't concern myself with my followers. You chose to follow me. If you did, it's probably because you read one of my tweets and either 1. thought it was funny, 2. know we have several people we follow or follow us in common, 3. we have similar interests or 4. you want to share you work (books, movies, music) with me.
See, on Twitter, I can be a PR tornado, slamming through people's timelines, spreading information about the latest and greatest I have seen, heard, or read. I follow several authors, some (ok, a lot) of whom are writers of erotic fiction (what can I say, I'm a horny gal).

Getting back to my point, a lot of what I post on Twitter may not be suitable for everyone. That not only applies to the real conservative, who may gasp at my comment about a sexual position or cringe at a review I post of a sexy erotic novel I just finished. I will "Retweet" a post or picture I find especially hilarious and want to share and it may be sexually explicit or use the work "Fuck". I may use it myself-in fact, I guarantee I will. Several times a day. So if you don't like that shit, I suggest you don't follow. I can't keep track of every person that decides to follow me, but if I happen to catch it, I will check out their little bio sometimes. I have warned a few people I have come across, that  I may not the best choice of a follow. I have blocked any kids under 18. I even got to the point where I posted a "18+ please" disclaimer on my home page.

Now, I feel that I should not have to censor myself for the benefit of others. I am, afterall, a grown woman. I think it's my right to post whatever the hell I choose. Nobody makes someone follow them. I don't ASK people to follow me (well, except for Adam Levine, but that's a separate blog post on it's own).

So what do you think? How do you handle these things? Let me know (or don't). It doesn't matter anyway because I have my opinion and Redheads Know Best.

HEAVEN SENT COVER REVEAL

When author E. Van Lowe decided to do the cover reveal for his upcoming novel, HEAVEN SENT, he wanted a few bloggers to help him spread the word. As a "Fran" (that's friend and fan) of E's work,  I am proud to be one of those participating.

Before I get to the reveal,  I'd like to tell you a bit about the author, E. Van Lowe and the book itself.
For those that don't know, E is a young adult author that has written for award-winning television shows such as The Cosby Show and Even Stevens. His first YA novel was Never Slow Dance With A Zombie and most recently, he has released The Zombie Always Knocks Twice, which is book number one in his HOLLYWEIRD SERIES.

Heaven Sent is book three in the Falling Angels Saga. The first two, Boyfriend From Hell and Earth Angel  have  spent several months on Amazon's top 100 sellers list and both were listed among the Top 10 Children's books on Amazon in March of 2012.


So now without further delay, I present the cover of HEAVEN SENT by E. Van Lowe

Isn't it beautiful? I think so. I also wouldn't feel right if I didn't give credit to Adara Rosalie, who designed the cover as well as the covers for the first two books. Adara has done an outstanding job and has helped E land on several Goodreads lists, including Best Book Covers of 2011 and Favorite Book Covers of 2011.

Here is a look at all three covers:

As an extra special treat, E has let me present you with the back cover blurb, so you can have a little tease of what it's about.


WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

Readers who devoured Boyfriend From Hell and Earth Angel will be captivated by the third book in the Falling Angels series.

As Summer break for Glendale Union high begins, heartsick Megan awaits Guy's return while struggling to control her emerging abilities.  Love is in the air, but can the new loves in Megan, Maudrina, Suze and Aunt Jaz's life be trusted?

Nothing is what it seems. Meanwhile, the Satanists are set to hatch their most diabolical scheme ever, and if it comes to pass, Satan may finally win out.

Megan has precious little time to unravel the cryptic message hidden in the riddle she received at the end of Earth Angel. If she doesn't, the life of someone most dear to her will be lost forever and Megan may yet find herself living in HELL.

"The third book in E. Van Lowe's Falling Angels Saga is his most thrilling yet."

HEAVEN SENT is due to be released in December 2012.

Heaven Sent Cover Teaser

I am pleased to announce that tomorrow I will be included in a a group on bloggers that will be revealing the new cover for E.Van Lowe's upcoming book Heaven Sent.
Just to tease you a bit (I am a teaser) I have this little hint at what it looks like.

Enjoy and please comeback tomorrow to see the full cover. I think it's absolutely stunning, as are all the book covers in this series.

Just What ARE The Benefits to being "friends with benefits"

Earlier today, a friend of mine on Facebook posted  about how even though a girl may agree to a "friends with benefits" relationship, she still doesn't want to be treated like a whore.

This, of course, caused many comments on the subject to emerge. One guy said if she expects you to wine and dine her, she's a whore. Another commenter said if she is fine with just sex alone, she is a slut, but if she wants to be given gifts, she's a whore.

Me, being me, had to put my own 2 cents in. I stated that I happened to agree with the original post. If 2 people can mutually agree to a  sex-only situation, there is nothing wrong with it. I have had them in the past but was always treated with respect. One guy I was dating sleeping with was a good friend. We didn't exactly click romantically on a date, so we agreed to be friends. With benefits. But it wasn't just about the sex.

 We would do things all friends do. See a movie, have dinner, hang out. I even checked up on his dog when he was out of town. We just happened to sometimes end up having sex as well. I didn't have a problem with it. We were both single and not sleeping with anyone else. We agreed that if we ever were to sleep with another person, we would tell each other. We even gave each other dating advice.
I didn't have any fantasies that we would some day fall madly in love and neither did he.

He even set me up with one of his good friends and I ended up dating him for a while. Eventually, we both found significant others and the sex ended. After a while, we lost touch. It was fun while it lasted, and I don't feel sad or upset because of it.

One girl read my post and told me that she had tried a similar situation with her EX and it was just like when they were dating. Only thing was they didn't see each other as much. Oh yeah, and he didn't LOVE her. She said that after 1 year and  1/2 he couldn't love her.
Um, sweetie? that is why you don't make this kind of arrangement with an ex. It will never work. You can't have a "fuck buddy" you were once in a relationship with. One of you most likely still has feelings for the other (probably the one who got dumped) and at some point will end up getting hurt. All.Over.Again. Why would you even put yourself through that?

I explained this to her and said how I didn't LOVE this guy and he didn't LOVE me. Not before the friendship and not after. That is the point of the whole thing. To have someone to enjoy the benefits of a sexual relationship and friendship without the complications of a romantic one. She asked if I could "control love". I said that I could not, but I didn't at any point love this guy, nor did I want to. If for some reason I did find myself falling for him, I would have ended it. Not to mention that I would never even try to be "friends with benefits" with any of my exes. Believe me-there would be NO benefits to that.

I guess she didn't get the point. In my situation, I was having a good time with Mr. Right Now, until Mr. Right came along. With her, she was trying to win back her ex. Not the same thing.

So in conclusion, there is nothing wrong with 2 consenting adults having a relationship based solely on sexual activity. If you also are inclined to enjoy dinner, movies, and other friendly adventures, that makes it better. It doesn't make you a whore. If the guy is treating you like a whore, then you shouldn't stay in that situation. Unless, of course, you like being a whore. Then by all means, keep on with it.
The important thing is not to try this with your ex. It will only end in heartache. Unless your ex is really cool and you are still on a talking basis and just on rare occasions get together for a good shag. But if you are thinking the "friends with benefits" thing will get him to take you back, you are wrong. Clearly, if you are broken up, there was a reason and that reason still exists. Don't lower your self esteem only to get your heart broken all over again. This advice can also work for guys.

Trust me because Redheads Know Best.