Saturday, September 22, 2012


Ok, so now that I have your attention, I'll let you in on a secret. I really don't know 6 sure-fire ways to keep a man satisfied. I may know 2 or 3. At best I know 2 that will keep him satisfied on a temporary basis and 1 that will satisfy his immediate needs. I definitely know a few that will send him running in the wrong direction. I do not, however, know any that will keep him forever.

I am not sure anyone really does, yet here we are, nearly four months away from the year 2013 and I am still seeing articles telling us how to get a man, please a man, keep a man.

Are we as women, so desperate to find a soul mate that we are still relying on these types of articles to us get there?

Here is a thought- how about being ourselves? Is it wrong to want to be accepted for the women we are?   I am in no way saying that finding a love match is easy and we should all be laying about waiting for Mr Right to come knocking on our doors.

Obviously, we have to put some effort into finding "The One".  I am simply stating that it does not need to be a research project.

I recently read an online article that said women should learn to speak a man's "love language" and then when we knew exactly what it was that kept him happy and were able to make our actions fit his needs, we could then be assured he would be  satisfied.
That after all, we girls aren't as perfect as he thought on that first date, therefore, we need to make sure he is willing to accept us now that our true selves are revealed.

See, my point is, if we were just honest and not tried to fit an "image" of what we think men want, then maybe-just maybe, once we were in a relationship, we wouldn't have to work so hard to keep him around.

I don't believe that any one woman-or man for that matter- should have to take quizzes and listen to the advice provided by so-called "experts" on the subject so  that we can keep a man as if he were a caged animal. Why in the world would we want a man that was only staying with us because of who he BELIEVED us to be and not because of who we actually are? Aren't we the ones who are always complaining that guys aren't honest with US? So really, is it fair that we come up with an elaborate scheme to snag and bag a man? I don't think so.

  Now I am not about to turn around and try to teach anyone the skills of dating, but I have done my own personal research (and by research, I mean gone on lots of dates) and I have come to my own conclusions on the subject. Now remember, these are MY formulas and may not apply to everyone.

First, you need a strong heart.  Let's face it, you are going to encounter some guys that are just plain jerks. They will make you think they have the qualities you are looking for in a partner and then turn around and say "HAHA! GOTCHA! I was just pretending to like horror movies all this time so you would sleep with me". (yes, I have had that happen to me)
 Personally, I want a guy to be himself, too. If we aren't compatible, I am cool with that and we both can move forward. Just because he is not the guy I want to marry, doesn't mean I can't see him at all. I would much prefer a guy be open and honest with me from the start. If a guy says "Hey, I think you are cool and I find you attractive, but I really just want to sleep with you", it is much better than him stringing me along for several dates only to end up confessing he just wanted to get laid.

Another important thing to remember on the search for love is to have fun.  You should enjoy dating. It shouldn't have to be a means to an end. If all you are focused on is finding a husband, you will miss out on a lot of chances to have a good time. I am not saying you should be a slut, but there is nothing wrong with casual dating.

At the end of the day there is no power you can achieve that will make you find, get and keep a man. Nobody is perfect and we all need to just relax and have fun. If we stop trying so hard, we may be surprised at what we find.
The again, what do I know? I'm still single.