Sunday, October 9, 2016

It's Not Always Our Words, But How We Choose To Use Them

In the past 2 days, I have been reading a lot (and also commenting) on the recently uncovered "Trump Tape" recording from 2005 of Republican Presidential nominee, Donald Trump and interviewer, Billy Bush dicussing Trump's opinion on how he can use his "celebrity status" to get women to do pretty much anything he wants.

Some comments I have seen and received have been:

" All guys talk like that."
"It's just locker room banter."
"His opinion of my gender doesn't matter to me."

and my favorite:

"If that talk offends you, you should just become a lesbian."

Now, I know Trump has issued an apology for what he said, but was he sorry he said it? Or just sorry we had to hear it? Trump obviously knew he was being recorded , as he was asked to take off his mic by Bush at the end and he is heard responding "Oh, are we done here?", which kind of rules out "Locker room banter" because he knew he was in a sort of interview situation with a person from the public media.
It obviously didn't bother him (or a laughing Bush) that what he was saying could possibly be released at some point, which kind of begs the question of why hasn't it? Did it get edited out because it obviosly does not paint him in a good light? Of course, he was not running for any office at that time, but I am sure anyone who heard that at any point would agree it is not becoming of a man in the spotlight.

I'm going to take a minute to consider how also in the past 2 days our current President, Barack Obame, who nobody can deny DOES in fact hold women (and all genders) in a high regard, just signed the Sexual Assault Survivor's Rights Act into law.

Now think for a bit of any such bill would have even been considered if Trump was our president? I highly doubt it, At the very least, it certainly would not be a priority on his "to do" list.

Now back to "All guys talk like that."  Like what? Like brag about how they can "grab them by the pussy"? It's funny, because when I think of ANY man talking like that, the first person to come to mind, is Brock Turner, the convicted rapist that had he not been caught mid-assault of an unconscious woman, would possible have been making similar claims in HIS locker room the next day or so.
What I am saying is that is not the kind of talk you hear from "every guy", I'm sorry. I'm just not buying that line of garbage excuses.

How about "His opininion of my gender doesn't affect me."
Really? Well , actually I do believe that how a man views and talks about women will definitely be reflected in how he operates in office. It's how he will decide on bills to sign off on, laws that are brought forward or considered and who he decides to appoint to the Supreme Court. Don't think it doesn't matter because it absolutely does and will. A person doesn't change the way they feel deep down inside and let's face it, this audio tape only comfirms what most of us already know: Donald Trump is a misogynist and always was. Why would he change now? This recording could have been made in 2005, but it may as well been yesterday. He still talks down to and about women.

Lastly, I will adress the remark that "If you are offended by this, you might as well become a lesbian because all me talk like this."

Well I will say first, that if you think the word "PUSSY" offends me then you don't know me at all. I have heard and said worse, myself. It's not always your words, but how you choose to use them.

Secondly, I do not feel sexually orientation is a choice I can make or change and even if it were, if any of the assholes I have dated or had sex with didn't make me want to become a lesbian, I do not think anything will.

But what do I know? I'm just a woman. A voter. I not only have a vagina, but I have a voice and a vote. I have already used both in this election, I'm not going to stop now.

Redheads may not ALWAYS Know Best, we our opinions should count.

Monday, October 5, 2015

A Return To Covington Cove: My Review of ALL OF ME by Kelly Moran

All Of Me is the second book in the Covington Cove series by Kelly Moran, which began with book one: Return to Me.

Though characters from book one are a big part of All Of Me, it centers on two new people not in Return To Me,  Alec, who is a best-selling writer of horror fiction stuck with a bad case of writer's block, and Faith, a young woman starting a new beginning for herself, away from her home.

Alec is strong, but sensitive, a quality I very much appreciate seeing in a lead male.
Faith is sweet, shy and a bit vulnerable.  I admit at first I was not sure I could see these two as a couple.

Both Alec and Faith have come to Covington Cove in Wilmington, NC for their own reasons. Alec, for his brother's wedding and Faith to take on a position as a care giver for Mia Covington's younger sister.

Mia was the heroine of Return to Me and it was nice to see her and Cole again and know their story continues to be a happy one.

Now back to Alec and Faith. Both of these people have some heavy emotional baggage.
Alec has been through a rough past which has caused him to withdraw from any real emotional connection with a woman. Faith has never felt loved by anyone, including her own parents.

The connection between the two of them starts out slow, but builds as the story moves forward.

I'm glad Kelly Moran knows how to write a realistic story and write it well, NO two people like Alec and Faith would come together in real life without some obstacles in their way and Ms Moran shows this in a way that is believable.

I felt Faith's insecurities as if they were my own and I sympathized with Alec's plight.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this sweet story about letting go of the past, moving on and letting your heart be your guide.

5 STARS
You can find it here on Amazon in Kindle and paperback http://www.amazon.com/All-Me-Covington-Cove-Novel-ebook/dp/B00SI0B6HU/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1444062698&sr=8-1

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

It's Not The Getting Older, It's Getting Older Alone.

I recently celebrated my 45th birthday. Yes, I said CELEBRATED. I still celebrate birthdays and I do it as if I was still a little kid. I admit it. I look forward to my birthday. I always have.

I don't have any real problems with getting older. I never was bothered about it. Maybe because I truly believe you are as young as you feel and I certainly feel younger than I am. Maybe it's because I am still single and have no kids, so I still am living the same life I was at 35 (which is about the same age I currently feel).

Now one thing that DOES bother me about getting older? It's not the "getting older" part, it's getting older alone. As if dating wasn't hard enough in my thirties, it's now even harder.  The amount of men that are single, available, reasonably attractive and in my age range to me gets smaller and smaller as I get older.

Years ago, this wasn't a big problem. When you are young, there are more people that are single in your age range . I also always went for the younger guys, which was easier when I was younger, as well. Now, I a lot of younger guys seem like kids. But yet, I'm still not attracted to many men my age or older.

One big problem is that I really hate first dates. It's the whole process of being with someone that knows nothing about you. You have to supply each other with any information and I don't like to ask too much or tell too much straight off.  Quite honestly I always feel like I'm on a job interview. (yeah, I hate those, too).

I still find it hard to believe I'm going to be 50 in 5 years. I'm not afraid of it. I'm just hoping by them I'll find a date for my party.


Monday, March 23, 2015

IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE...

Today I was out shopping and remembered I wanted to buy a new under eye concealer. I happened to be in Kohl's and decided to look and see what they had available. I was approached by a very friendly sales associate and she asked what I was looking for and if she could offer any help. I told her what I was currently using ,but that I wanted to try something new . I mentioned that I was an esthetician, but I still didn't know EVERYTHING about makeup and was always open to advice, especially on products I was not familiar with. She told me that she was also an esthetician and jokingly asked if the office where I practiced was looking for anyone , even just to help with product sales. She told me she really loved being a salesperson.  I told her I previously worked retail for many years, myself, and how I  really didn't practice much skincare because I was also an electrologist and I now specialized in laser hair removal.

She was very helpful and asked if I had any limits to how much I wanted to spend because there were a few products she would suggest, based on what I explained I was looking for, but she wanted to offer me something I would like that was also in my budget.  She showed me two options, and since I wasn't wearing any makeup, I let her apply them to my face so I could compare them. She was fatastic in her product knowledge and definitely a great salesperson, though not pushy at all. I ended up walking away with a concealer that I really liked and though she did ask if there was anything else she could help me add to my purchase, I felt she was just being genuinely helpful-not just looking to make a big sale. I thanked her and asked if she worked on commission. I wanted her to get the credit for the sale she worked so hard and so well for.

She told me that, no, she did not work on commission and as long as I pay for my purchase, everyone ends up getting credit.  I thought that was a pretty cool attitude to have.

At first I felt a little bad seeing a licensed professional working retail, selling makeup. I remember the years I was in that line of work and how happy I was to get out of it. I felt fortunate that I did work in a clinic and had hours I liked better and was able to use my licensed skills in a "hands on" environment. Then I remembered that if it weren't for this girl and her own skills and experience, I may not have found a concealer that was right for my skin. Hell, I may not have found anything at all. What if I encountered someone who didn't like what they were doing and only cared about earning a  paycheck? This girl actually ENJOYED what she was doing and took pride in helping people with their cosmetic needs. She could be working in a clinic, but loving the sales side of the beauty business, was probably right where she belonged.

Today made me think about how no job is really less important than any other in the overall scheme of things. As long as every person was doing the job they were best suited for, and enjoyed doing it, there were no small jobs. Every job is important in some way. If it weren't, there would be no need for it.

I know that my job isn't like that of a physician, but it did require a lot of training and certification to aquire the ability to do. I still have to take continuing education classes to maintain my certification. Since regulation varies from state to state, some people outside of Florida could not operate a hair removal laser with the license and certification I have alone. There are some states that require less training. I take great pride in what I do and how far I have come to get here. I also really enjoy what I do. I believe that is a huge factor in how I perform at my job,

Everyone should have a job that enjoy. If you don't love what you do, you probably aren't going to do well at it, no matter how much training you have. I know my job is important. I feel it when I see how happy I make someone when they tell me how much they appreciate the help I have given them with getting rid of unwanted hair.

My job may not be "rocket science" but it does fulfill a need. Everyone's job does. It's just different needs for different people. To some people what I do may be more important to them than what a rocket scientist does.

So when you feel like what you do isn't really that important or requires that much skill, think about this: only an actual Rocket Scientist practices "rocket science".


Trust me. Redheads know best.

Friday, March 20, 2015

Thoughts On Moving Forward

It's been a while since I've posted here. A long while. It's just that I haven't quite felt the desire to write anything. I barely felt the desire to read anything much, either. I think it started when my grandparents passed away last year. It was such a shock to lose both of them in such a short period of time-6 weeks apart. I know it happens. When two people are together as long as they were, if one passes away, it's not uncommon for the other to soon pass as well. I just never heard of it happening so close. I guess it was too much for me.

It took me a while to get back into my normal routine. Work was first, of course. You get the standard, acceptable time frame to grieve. A week. Really though. How can one even put a time stamp on grieving. Everyone grieves in their own way, in their own time. I know I looked like I was fine and able to move on, but inside? No. Inside was a different story. The loss was very difficult for me. Not to say it wasn't for my brother and sister and especially my mother. I just think for me it was extemely hard because I tend to let my emotions stay inside, building up like a volcano, until it erupts into a fury.

I guess maybe that's my biggest flaw. Ok, not the BIGGEST, but close. I keep things bottled up. Then when I finally do let them out, I'm like a crazy person. I say too much. I say things that can be hurtful. I don't mean it. I just do. I also have a hard time apologizing. Maybe THAT is my biggest flaw.

Anyway, I've been trying to get back into writing because this is kind of an outlet for me. It's really why I started a blog to begin with. So I can have a way to express my feelings and thoughts in a healthy way. Some may even say a productive way. I certainly have no issues expressing the way I feel in words-just not on paper, or in this case, the internet.

It's been months since I lost my grandparents. A lot has happened. Thanksgiving, Christmas. I have gotten in touch with my dad and we are rebuilding our relationship. My sister got engaged. I've moved into a new home. I'm trying to get back to normal. Normal. Hahaha. Whatever THAT means.

Hopefully now I will be able to continue to post more frequently, even if they aren't long posts. If I can tweet all day long, I certainly can write a blog post, right?

So here we go. A new beginning. I hope it's a good one. So far 2015 has been pretty good to this redhead. Let's hope it continues.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Treasure Every Moment With Those You Love

When I woke up this morning I had no idea that by 5pm, I would be sitting in my dining room, crying to acomplete stranger.

It was early January this year that I sat in that very same dining room with my mother and brother, talking about how we felt about my grandparents living on their own and that maybe they should consider moving in with my mother and I. Little did we know, that only 5 months later, this wouldn't be an option, but a necessity. Later that month, on an early Sunday morning, my mom got a phone call saying my 85 year old grandfather had fallen in the bedroom of his condo and was being rushed to the emergency room.

There were tests, tests and more tests. Doctors came and went. Specialists were called in. Each time, someone would come up with an idea of what had happened to cause my grandfather's "collapse",as we had come to call it, and still not one of them could find a medical reason for it.

After the hospital had agreed there was nothing more they could do for my grandfather and he seemed to be in relatively good health, he was moved to a rehab facility. Though there was no clear medical problems with him, he still was not ready to come home, because he could not eat, stand, walk or do much else on his own.

At this point, my mother and I had moved my 90 year old grandmother out of their one bedroom condo and into the 3 bedroom house we shared.  My grandfather had been caring for her for the past few years and she was unable to care for herself.

My mom, myself, my younger brother and sister had all discussed what we should do. It was obvious we had no choice but to put the condo on the market, as it was clear my grandparents would never return to it. One of the girls I work with is a licensed realtor, so we began the listing process.

We moved some of our furniture that wasn't really used to make room for my grandparent's furniture and my mom moved her things to the back bedroom once occupied by my sister so my grandparents would have the master bedroom and their own bathroom.

As time went on, my grandfather would have good days and bad days, yet not seem to ever get to a point where he was back to himself. As we waited for him to improve, we continued getting more of his personal affairs in order since we weren't sure how much of them he would be able to handle them all on his own.

Then one afternoon while I was near the end of my workday, I got a call from my mom. She had just arrived at the rehab facility to see my grandfather as usual ,when my grandmother suffered a massive stroke. She was being taken across the street to the hospital ER. I called my brother and sister, and the three of us rushed to meet them there.

After tests were done, the doctors told us that my grandmother would be ok, but wold have to stay in the hospital for a while. Meanwhile, my grandfather remained in rehab. we never imaged earlier this year that we would have not one, but two grandparents in such poor health.

Time went on and soon my grandmother was being released from the hospital and over to the rehab, where she would share a room with my grandfather for the time being.

The doctors and specialists had assessed that there was not much else that could be done for my grandfather and medicare had stopped payments to the facility. If we wanted to keep him there, it would have to be paid out of pocket. We all agreed, including my grandfather, that it was best to do just that. Weeks passed and we started to consider what we should do. At some point both of my grandparents would have to be released from the rehab, but what was the best option for their care? Would we find a nursing home or bring them home to live with my mom and myself, hiring home care assistance.  Feeling he would at some point continue to get better and knowing my grandmother would not require much care,we decided to do just that.

The condo sold, we found a home health care service and things proceeded. Soon, it would be time for my grandparents to be released and be brought home to out care. The hospital would arrange for transportation for them and medicare would provide hospital beds, wheelchairs and some in home visits from nurses, physical therapy and the like.

It will be two weeks since my grandparents have been home this coming Saturday and things have been harder than my mom and I ever imagined.  My grandfather was looking to be getting better and better, but my grandmother, unfortunately seems only to decline in health.  This week, we began to talk about if maybe they would be better off in a facility where they could get round the clock care. we finally decided to call in someone from hospice, to talk about our options.

It turns out hospice care could provide them with home care that was better than what they are receiving now, without having to make them move to a facility. Yesterday we made the call to get them "admitted" into their system.

Today my mother and I met with our assigned nurse and socialworker. It was explained that we would be able to get a nurse out to us any time, day or night if needed, my grandparents would be able to any medical services provided right here and if at any point, we felt it was no longer needed (though this is doubtful) we could discontinue and find another type of care.

As the social worker took information, I was asked questions I didn't really think I would be considering so soon. What funeral home would we like to use in case one or both of my grandparents passed? Do we want them to remain at home or be moved to a facility when it looks like "the end" is near?
I stared to feel the tears building and the nurse turned to me and said "it's alright to cry", and cry, I did.

It all came flooding out. All the emotions I had been holding back for almost 2 weeks. The realization that I would never again have a two sided conversation with my grandmother. That my grandfather, whom I had relied on for the past 20 years of my life for advice and opinion when I had nowhere else to turn, would probably never stand or walk on his own again. It was all so unbelievably REAL.  This was the moment I knew wold someday come,  I just didn't know it would come now.

I consider myself so very blessed to have had my grandmother around for so long, knowing friends that are not as fortunate. She is , after all, going to be 91 in September and has lived a long and happy life. My grandparents have been together for over 60 years and have shown me just what the very definition of love is.  I have watched my grandmother care for my grandfather for most of their lives and now in the latter ones, seen him in turn care for her.  I know soon it will her time to move on from this life and though I want her to stay, I also know it would be selfish if she is suffering. She is no longer living a life that I would want for myself. Bed bound and unable to do anything for herself.

So as I write these words I try to prepare for the time when she ends her journey here and also wonder if my grandfather will improve or decline further, himself. I have decided to remain optimistic, but realistic.

As I end this blog post , I can feel the stinging of my red-rimmed eyes and know it will not be the last day I cry over my grandparents conditions. In fact, I fear it will only the the beginning of many tear-filled days and nights. as I look back on the time I shared with them I value ever second of it and want to treasure every second I have left. I don't know how much I have left, but I am going to make the most of it.

I ask one thing of you, my readers. Please take a moment to consider the ones you love. Then make sure you value every day you have with them. Life is short. Nobody knows what fate has in store for us. Things could turn at a moments notice and nobody wants to regret not having have done or said the things they thought they would always be able to do another day.

Trust me, because Redheads Know Best.







Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Meaningful Beauty Crème de Serum- A Review

I think most of us have seen those late night infomercials where Supermodel Cindy Crawford talks about her skincare line, MEANINGFUL BEAUTY.
You know, that "magical" secret beauty line that keeps her looking so young and fabulous? Yes, THAT one.

Well, as an esthetician, I am always on the lookout to try new products and see just how well they really work. One night sitting up watching tv, I came across those infomercials. I have to admit, I was intrigued. I mean look at Cindy! She's about 2 years older than I am and she really does look incredible.

Of course, as intrigued as I was I was also skeptical. Let's face it (no pun intended) Cindy IS one of the most beautiful women in the world. She has the money and means to have access to anything and everything she can to keep looking that way. So is it really all because of some secret ingredient found in a melon that keeps her youthful glow? I really wanted to know.

On a personal note, I have been told I look younger than my own 43 years and I chalk that up to good genes as well as my knowledge as a skincare professional that knows how to properly care for my skin. If you have the right tools, and know how to use them correctly, most people can achieve skin that looks great and remains looking that way.

Now, the facts. Listen carefully. What I am about to say is very important. THERE IS NO MIRACLE IN A JAR THAT WILL MAKE ANYONE LOOK YOUNGER. Yes, I said it. You can try everything out there, but we must face facts, we are going to get older-like it or not.
BUT-and yes, this is a big BUT- there ARE certain ingredients that can and will help us maintain healthy looking skin. we cannot stop the clocks, but we CAN slow them down a bit and look good while doing it.

Ok, so back to the subject you came here for. MEANINGFUL BEAUTY.

I just so happen to be a member of a wonderful program called INFLUENSTER. As a member, often I am selected to receive complimentary products from Influenster for testing purposes. 

As my good fortune would have it, I was selected to try...yup, you guess it- a sample of Meaningful Beauty Creme de Serum. 

When I learned of this opportunity, I of course, jumped at the chance. I was finally going to see what all the excitement was about. I immediately started posting on FACEBOOK and TWITTER, telling everyone I knew that I was going to try the fabulous product that Cindy Crawford swears by. My friends were excited, too. Many admitted they also were curious as to the secret to Cindy's great looks. Now they could find out from a source who is unbiased. Anyone who knows me , knows I will never promote or encourage use of something I think is not a good thing. I am honest to a fault and especially when it comes to skin care. It's my profession and people rely on my honesty. So, if I was going to use this product, they knew the information I shared would be 100% true. 

Now, when my serum arrived, I was very excited to try it. I wasn't expecting very much to be honest. It containsa ingredients that are essential to healthy, younger looking skin. Hyaluronic acid (HA)and ant-aging peptides. Oh yeah, and that super antioxidant melon complex. 
Now I have been using a serum with HA and peptides for years, so I knew the benefits I would get from those. The melon complex? Well, I don't too much other than the info I received, but I knew it wasn't going to hurt.

So by know you must be wondering what I think, right? I mean this is supposed to be a review, not a discussion of my beauty routine. Ok, here it is. MEANINGFUL BEAUTY Creme de Serum is in fact, quite impressive. After just a few days, my skin was significantly softer, silkier and smoother. I kept looking in the mirror and touching my skin. Today I even went to my office without any makeup on. 

I am using it as directed (once a day, either morning or evening-I chose evening before bed) and it's been about a week. Do I look younger? Of course not. But my skin feel incredible. I can say that much. 

I am very happy with my current line of products, so I don't plan on switching at this time, but I would LOVE to try the full line of MEANINGFUL BEAUTY products out to see what kind of results I can achieve. 

I know this product is not going to make me look younger than I do. But it's not full of excess chemicals. It's pretty pure. It does make me feel good about myself. I'm happy with how I look and isn't that really all that matters?  Is it worth investing in? I think that would be left up to individuals to see for themselves. It's not the Fountain Of Youth, but it works. I wouldn't tell anyone NOT to use it. 

The only downside I can see is that you do have to sign up for a auto ship program. Those things aren't really something I like, but if you don't mind that, than I say go for it! 

For more on MEANINGFUL BEAUTY CREME de SERUM go here: http://www.meaningfulbeauty.com/products/products,default,pg.html


For more on  MEANINGFUL BEAUTY purchasing information, you can go here:
 http://www.meaningfulbeauty.com/select-a-system/order,default,pg.html

To find out about INFLUENSTER, go here: http://www.influenster.com/
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