Just What ARE The Benefits to being "friends with benefits"

Earlier today, a friend of mine on Facebook posted  about how even though a girl may agree to a "friends with benefits" relationship, she still doesn't want to be treated like a whore.

This, of course, caused many comments on the subject to emerge. One guy said if she expects you to wine and dine her, she's a whore. Another commenter said if she is fine with just sex alone, she is a slut, but if she wants to be given gifts, she's a whore.

Me, being me, had to put my own 2 cents in. I stated that I happened to agree with the original post. If 2 people can mutually agree to a  sex-only situation, there is nothing wrong with it. I have had them in the past but was always treated with respect. One guy I was dating sleeping with was a good friend. We didn't exactly click romantically on a date, so we agreed to be friends. With benefits. But it wasn't just about the sex.

 We would do things all friends do. See a movie, have dinner, hang out. I even checked up on his dog when he was out of town. We just happened to sometimes end up having sex as well. I didn't have a problem with it. We were both single and not sleeping with anyone else. We agreed that if we ever were to sleep with another person, we would tell each other. We even gave each other dating advice.
I didn't have any fantasies that we would some day fall madly in love and neither did he.

He even set me up with one of his good friends and I ended up dating him for a while. Eventually, we both found significant others and the sex ended. After a while, we lost touch. It was fun while it lasted, and I don't feel sad or upset because of it.

One girl read my post and told me that she had tried a similar situation with her EX and it was just like when they were dating. Only thing was they didn't see each other as much. Oh yeah, and he didn't LOVE her. She said that after 1 year and  1/2 he couldn't love her.
Um, sweetie? that is why you don't make this kind of arrangement with an ex. It will never work. You can't have a "fuck buddy" you were once in a relationship with. One of you most likely still has feelings for the other (probably the one who got dumped) and at some point will end up getting hurt. All.Over.Again. Why would you even put yourself through that?

I explained this to her and said how I didn't LOVE this guy and he didn't LOVE me. Not before the friendship and not after. That is the point of the whole thing. To have someone to enjoy the benefits of a sexual relationship and friendship without the complications of a romantic one. She asked if I could "control love". I said that I could not, but I didn't at any point love this guy, nor did I want to. If for some reason I did find myself falling for him, I would have ended it. Not to mention that I would never even try to be "friends with benefits" with any of my exes. Believe me-there would be NO benefits to that.

I guess she didn't get the point. In my situation, I was having a good time with Mr. Right Now, until Mr. Right came along. With her, she was trying to win back her ex. Not the same thing.

So in conclusion, there is nothing wrong with 2 consenting adults having a relationship based solely on sexual activity. If you also are inclined to enjoy dinner, movies, and other friendly adventures, that makes it better. It doesn't make you a whore. If the guy is treating you like a whore, then you shouldn't stay in that situation. Unless, of course, you like being a whore. Then by all means, keep on with it.
The important thing is not to try this with your ex. It will only end in heartache. Unless your ex is really cool and you are still on a talking basis and just on rare occasions get together for a good shag. But if you are thinking the "friends with benefits" thing will get him to take you back, you are wrong. Clearly, if you are broken up, there was a reason and that reason still exists. Don't lower your self esteem only to get your heart broken all over again. This advice can also work for guys.

Trust me because Redheads Know Best.